Explore the transformative power of spiritual insights, overcoming challenges, and finding joy in unexpected connections in motherhood. From managing writing anxieties to the enchantment of mindful walks, delve into the journey of a mother embracing the blessings and challenges with her sensitive and budding soul – her son. Discover the universe’s guidance in forming organic connections and the surprising joy found in the simple act of sharing dreams.
My darling boy.
You are not a burden and I hope my feelings of overwhelm or overstimulation never translate as such, to you. You are only ever the biggest of blessings, and any weight I have from you is one I am honoured to carry. You force me to be still and for that I am grateful. You encourage a patience within my spirit that is a gift. And this is not because you are a burden – or a challenge, or anything with an air of negativity – only because you are sensitive, and a budding soul, and little buds, little seeds, need very careful, gentle, and soft attention. All things your mother is not familiar with, for herself, for her life before you. You have softened me, so that I can match you.
When we hold hands and I center in on the connection, the energy is astounding. It beats, beats, beats like a drum, like the heart of the Universe. It ripples and it is as though my energy in the palm of my hand responds to yours. There is a quiet understanding between them that we are different but we have the same goal, the same origin, the same link to Source.
You are incredible and being your mother is a joy. Thank you for sharing life with me. Thank you for returning and choosing me. I know you didn’t have to, and for that, my gratitude extends tenfold and I am even further humbled and honoured.
My darling boy, you are my star.
Yesterday I had a little taste of what my husband returning to work might do to my routine for writing. My husband had a work lunch which meant that I was alone for naptime, lunch prep, and the general “middle time” where I do my last writing on this blog. I felt the anxiety of being on the clock and spent a lot of time checking the monitor to see if my son was stirring. It made me feel rushed and overwhelmed and I didn’t get more than a chapter of reading in, yesterday, either. While normally when husband is here, if there is a delay in meal prep – especially my own – it’s no problem and I can catch up even after he wakes. But when it was just me and R, I felt everything needed to be ready when he was done with sleeping, knowing how difficult it would be to cook with him awake.
Reflecting on this anxiety, I pulled a card from the Archangel Gabriel oracle deck and I got Nurture Yourself – Investing time in self-care now will yield more energy for you later; “While you may not be able to do exactly what you envision, you could definitely approximate it, no matter what your schedule […] is like.” I can’t rush my writing or allow my writing to feel rushed by external factors. While I do most of my most impactful writing in the morning, I am also aware that there may be difficulties doing that next month. Perhaps I should be a little gentler on myself on this need to “get it done before the nap is over.” In addition, there’s nothing wrong with me adding items to the blog post over the course of the day, taking notes in my phone as it progresses.
It is important to me so I will find time or I will make time.
I have been stressing over the past week and a bit about my longing to have organic traffic to this space, to my website, to my Instagram page – about how selling myself has become a challenge to me and how I can feel in my core that there is more, and there are healthier (spiritually) ways for people to find me. I asked the Universe for guidance, I asked the Universe to guide people to me who need me, and yesterday I got a wonderful confirmation from Source that I need to continue to commit to this goal.
I had a new client reach out to me and ask me for a spirit baby reading. I love when new people discover me and ask for a Celestial Genesis: Spirit Baby Reading or a Past Lives Intercession Reading to figure out their past life connections with their children. I don’t know these people, they just appear and ask for my services and it’s like, wow, me? Really? It moves me to my core. Anyway, I decided to ask out of curiosity how this person found me: “I was searching for Spirit Baby Readings and you appeared!” They were searching and they found – and they found me. And they felt like I could be trusted with this beautiful service. Me. Organically! Thank you, Universe. This is the way I want to be found; this is the way that feels right in my soul.
The amount of information being presented as religious fact on social media continues to come to the surface. When something worked for one person, they present it to their audience as the holy grail solution. This is done, of course, to increase shares and increase their viral-ability. The more this shows up in my feed, the more I feel distanced from the space.
Yesterday in the late afternoon/early evening, R wanted to go for a walk – a real walk, though, on his own two feet. It was so warm, despite the setting winter sun, and he was so eager. Surprisingly, so was I. I loved walking this way with him. The stroller is a challenge on hilled streets; it’s exhausting and can make an otherwise lovely stroll feel like a job. It’s one of the primary reasons I struggle with getting out and connecting in nature.
But this walk was slow, careful, and I was forced to look at all the little things around us – not only to be hyper-aware of what my son was getting close to, to keep him safe, but also because he pointed to so many things and made wonderful, excited exclamations about them. It took us forty minutes to walk 50 meters because he kept stopping, looking, enjoying, wondering, exploring, and it was the true definition of slow living in a walk. It was spectacular. I loved this walk. It was absolutely transformative for me and helped me realize that my joy for nature is found in my son’s joy, and it’s easier to recognize this when it’s less like work and more slow and savoured.
I also got to see House 105 under dusk, feet planted in front of her, looking up at her, dreaming about her under a different sky – breathing her in. I spoke about her to R. I told him: This is mama’s dream house. How do you feel about it? Does it feel like home? Home. Home. Look at how beautiful she is. It’s hard to see but look over that wall — look at that big backyard! Can you see yourself playing there? This wall could be our wall. Look how lovely she is; wouldn’t you like to explore her? I really have no idea why I am so drawn to this house. There is something about it. There are things about it I don’t like (it’s attached to a little house next door, the backyard is mostly hilled, it sits on a main street), but I feel called to it for some reason. Anyway, it was beautiful to stand in her glory and love her under a new sky, while enjoying a beautiful, gentle walk with my son.
I find myself reflecting on really strange things today. I find myself wondering why people formulate an idea of you in their heads and then you exist as that idea in their heads, rather than the reality of you. I find myself wondering why people would rather believe what others say about you than hear your story. I find myself wondering why so many people create this bubble of jealousy and judgment around themselves and project that onto perfectly good people in their lives. And then I’m wondering how intensely the karma hits – and when it does, why they choose to hide, even deeper into their well. I am super scatterbrained and it’s naptime for the little but I don’t find myself writing at all; instead, I find myself energetically invested in the wonder of why – why people choose to walk a path that they haven’t taken the time to illuminate before walking it. In the grand scheme of things, this is all non-essential to me walking my own path and staying focused on my betterment which will ultimately contribute to the Ascension of earth, so these thoughts don’t consume me, but I am just steeping in them.
I also find myself thinking about where we used to live and the walks I used to take there. There was one walk in particular that I really enjoyed, as it went through a small but spectacular town on the lake and then ended at the most quaint and lovely coffee shop at the base of the mountain. I really enjoyed that walk and those views. It was a very different feeling and a very different experience walking there. It is wild how much these mountainous roads really put a damper on my enjoyment of just walking to walk.
I absolutely do not miss living there, under any circumstances, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss those walks. They were different mountains – and there was the lake – and the roads were flat and there was a sense of purpose with scatterings of shops and stops along the path – while also being completely immersed in the depths and the soul of nature. I can still see, in my mind’s eye, the vision of the church’s steeple against the rocky and snow-tipped mountain. It was a powerful walk. I have yet to find a place around us that gives that same sense of power. AND YET – and this is important – the energy of the people and the area was totally different and was very negative. So, as with all things, there is a balance. My sanity and my calm spirit outweighs a prettier walk, I feel.
I am on the precipice of 800 views and 400 unique visitors. Honoured is not a word that is powerful enough to express my gratitude, and my focus remains true: continue to allow this space to fuel my self-care and healing as a mother, my recapturing of my identity, and let the authentic and mundane musings be a mirror for others, let it allow them to want to see and share their own little stories, as well.
(That being said, in the spirit of transparency and authenticity, I use AI to generate my excerpts! I would feel guilty if I didn’t mention it…)
xx C
Awakened Little Souls 
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