Embark on a heartfelt journey as I share moments of divine confirmation, gratitude, and reflections on motherhood’s intricate path. From synchronistic messages to the challenges and joys of raising a toddler, join me in exploring the profound connections between spirituality, self-discovery, and the evolving role of an awakened mama.

10/02/2024

I am starting to write this blog at 18h45 on 10/02/2024. This precedes the morning blog time. I am doing so because I don’t want to forget how I feel in this moment. I am overwhelmed with gratitude from the Universe in this moment. I had two people, two clients-turned-friends, who reached out to me separately at the exact same time to express the fact that they were thankful for my existence, my friendship, and my presence as a spiritual compass in their lives. I am emotional; I am in tears.

This kind of validation comes at a rather synchronistic time; I have asked the Universe/Source/my Soul Team for confirmations of my paths, my projects, and my purpose (especially in this new space). I have asked them whether my existence is rippling to the Collective as I hope it is. I have asked them for reminders that it’s all okay, this path is all okay. And it came in the form of two messages at once. And I must not forget a third message from yesterday of the same nature. Sometimes, I feel guilt as I process these messages and these emotions – one might even compare it to mom-guilt.

Mom-guilt is the idea that you maybe didn’t do enough/are not doing enough, that you could put more effort or make a greater impact, that the role of mom is a thankless job so you should not be receiving any gratitude for walking it. These messages feel a lot like mom-guilt. But mom-guilt is learned, it’s not innate. Our innate spiritual self is connected through community, where words and gratitude are our currency, and life is lived dedicated to the betterment and growth of one another. That is a total connection to the Love-energy that is Source, and when you meet there, there is nothing but profound devotion to and honouring each and every Higher Self.

So, I write this now as a reminder to myself that Source does confirm to me – endlessly – that this is my path, to keep walking confidently, to trust all of life will fall into place as it should. And that I’m not alone on it. And that’s so important to remember.

It is 21h as I write this next line and the Universe sent me another confirmation – a friend told me I inspire her daily, and a new IG connection that said I inspire her. Me. Little ol’ me. Just me, existing in an online space, found by a stranger, and I’ve inspired her. There are truly not enough words to describe my gratitude this evening. This has heavily impacted me, and I’m not even sure how to process it. I’m not even sure how to write about it. But the Universe can feel, in my heart, how grateful I am, how touched I am, and how moved I am. There is just a profound sense of humbling gratitude. Thank you, Universe. Thank you, God.

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11/02/2024

The day after, the next morning, and this awakened mama wonders about the day ahead. I will not have the opportunity to do my naptime writing so slow motherhood takes a backseat as I move quickly through my morning meditative writing. We are headed to lunch with friends and looking at my phone in the car makes me carsick; I never was carsick before having my son. Has anyone else experienced this change after giving birth? That’s only a sliver of all the weird changes my body has had since giving birth.

I am continuing to receive confirmations from Source that this community I am building of Awakened Mamas in this Awakened Little Souls space is right. It felt important for good reason and it seems it is important to many womban. So I decided to invest further in myself and this spiritual haven I am building and I finally purchased the course on Growing a Business Without Social Media. The focus of the course, as I mentioned, is blogging and using Pinterest as a non-exhausting tool (I’m really loving Pinterest, lately) to bring people to your website.

While social media (Instagram) has allowed me to discover and bond with like-minded mamas and make motherhood connections that are no less valuable than real-life mother friends (who support you without judgment, are not competitive, and hold space for you), slow spiritual motherhood is the ultimate goal of Awakened Little Souls and I need to practice what I preach. I need to draw souls into this space organically and run this business with my heart, knowing what my spiritual advisor Carol always told me: people will find me when they’re ready for me. Awakened Mamas will find me when they are ready for me and need me, most.

Yesterday was the most popular day on my website. Taking the advice of a beautiful and soulful woman I connected with on Instagram, I was inspired to send out an email newsletter about Awakened Little Souls to my old clients, friends, and soul-family that I connected with through Seeking Celestial Grace. I am now at 344 visitors overall, and 663 total views of my website – an enormous change from a week ago. Yesterday, I had 37 separate website visitors (my most on one day), and today I am already sitting at 12. I had said a prayer to Source asking for confirmation of projects and paths related to this and to guide me into a space of feeling even more secure with following this joy, and I know this is one of the ways they are saying, “Yes, Claudia. Keep going.” So, I walk on.

While organizing my books shelves and tarot and oracle shelves, I found my Archangel Gabriel Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue. As a writer, this is one of my favourite decks of all. Now, as a mother, it is even more-so, as there are also messages for caring for children within the deck. Yesterday, I pulled Join a Writer’s Group and I took that as a sign to finally commit to that online course. My deck is downstairs (while I sit in the upstairs office to write privately) so I cannot pull a card for the day, unfortunately. This deck is Out of Print now (since Virtue converted to Evangelical Christian), but even a knock-off edition is worth it for spiritual creatives.

Yesterday, three more birthday books came in. One is called The Country Diary of an Edwardian Woman, and it’s a reproduction of the actual diary of an Edwardian woman, complete with her illustrations and hand-written entries. I think this will be my “fun” read in my ever-growing pile of literature. I bought it with the hopes of being inspired to continue my daily writing and to encourage more mindfulness and observance of nature, and to proceed down that slow living path I want to carve out.

Yesterday, a mom friend of mine really opened my eyes to the importance of not wishing away moments with your child, and how while we might feel we are in a “challenging” stage, there is no competition in motherhood because the challenges are always changing. I mentioned that this stage of toddlerhood – with a little dictator human who runs everywhere, touches everything, needs eyes on him all the time, tells me “no”, and wrestles as I try and clean his poopy diaper – is actually not as hard as when the world becomes involved in your parenthood.

What does this mean? She said that when your child goes off into the world, everyone else suddenly becomes a teacher – and simultaneously becomes a part of your home. Educators, friends, other parents, they all begin to influence your child and your child’s personality, opinions, and ideas. Many of these need to be unlearned which is more work on a mother. And then come the playdates where undisciplined children begin running around your house and tearing it apart!

I reflected, with gratitude, at this stage my son is in. Yes, it requires a lot of me (and my husband) but it’s absolutely true: it’s me and my husband. It’s this unit teaching my son and who are involved in his development, so it’s safe. It’s so much safer at this stage. I don’t intend to homeschool even though I’d love to; I was an educator in Canada so I also have the classroom experience, but my husband doesn’t want me to. Private bilingual school is our compromise: smaller classroom sizes, formally educated teachers (this is not necessary for public schools in France), and a Mason/Montessori approach to learning. It feels more safe. But once my child exits these doors and enters those doors, it’s true; I lose a little bit of control on the external environment that my son is exposed to.

I don’t want to control my son’s life, but I do want to be a primary educator in tuning his moral compass, and I do want grace to be central to his personal development and learning. There is a book on my wishlist that is focused on how parents can continue to be important and central to a child’s life, but really, how much control do we have over influence? We can teach our children to be resilience against the pressure of social influence and to think for themselves, but part of that could result in adopting the (negative) thoughts and words of others. We can try and teach discernment but they leave our nest so young that it is a difficult thing to navigate.

Yes, I sleep less. Yes, diaper changes are a wrestling match and my hands usually end up covered in poo. Yes, I have a kid who challenges everything I make him to eat. Yes, I have little independent time during the day because I am on the floor playing with him. Yes, I have a kid who wants to walk when we are out but only in the direction he picks. But I also am this child’s world, and my husband is his world, and that’s the extent of it. We are his universe, and his source of learning, of growing, of teaching. And while I don’t intend to bubble my child, I do have the ability to create a strong foundation for him to learn who he is, explore safely, and expand spiritually where he will not be judged, swayed, or influenced negatively. And he loses this when he grows.

So, yeah — maybe this stage is hard physically and mentally, but emotionally and spiritually, it’s truly much safer. It’s much easier and softer on the heart. It really isn’t so challenging after all, all factors considered. I have learned to be far more grateful for these challenges because they do only grow, and they do change – and oftentimes, it’s changes that take a far greater toll on the mother, I have learned.

That motherhood path is a winding one, full of surprises! How do we ready our heart, each step of the way? This is something I am still learning.

xx C