I didn’t take a photo today. I’ve been taking a photo every day, as per the recommendation of Little Stories of Your Life but today I didn’t, and I don’t feel drawn to take one just to fill in the space of this post. That seems inauthentic to me. Every other photo was born out of a desire to capture the moment, but that inauthenticity of “capturing just to post” irks me. I feel the same way about when I create content for Instagram.

For example, right now I have an idea of something I could capture for a Reel. I could make a post about his toys and his books – how I paired some books with specific toys. And yet I’ve hesitated capturing this content for a few days, now. Why? What is it about this particular stuff is making me procrastinate with it? Is it because it doesn’t really excite me, but I think it might be interesting to others? Does my heart need to be fully in it in order for me to get excited about capturing, structuring, and posting it? Is the Universe saying to me, through my hesitation, “No, not that – that’s not the point of the space, that’s not the meaningful experience we want you to share, that’s not what you’re here for.”

I always tell people that if it stops bringing you joy and begins to feel like work then you need to re-evaluate the vision and make some changes. So, maybe that’s the Universe telling me to re-evaluate the content for my page: share only what brings you true joy. I’m planning a toy rotation before the end of his nap, so it’s really now or never. Will it be never? Or will I succumb to the pressure of what I think people on the ‘Gram want to see?

I’ve started a new project for this space – an Awakened Mama Community, where I allow other spiritually conscious mothers share themselves, their story, their life and gather it all here, on this little piece of Internet Real Estate. I hope it will help like-minded mamas connect and find their tribe. I know how difficult it is to find a tribe. And as an introvert with social anxiety, it’s hard for me to extend my reach outside my doors, finding it much either to put my feelers out into digital spaces to find mom friends. I have done the real life thing and have come out let down and depleted. This is my attempt to weave that web of mama connection in a way that feels safe, secure, and right to me. If I was a witch, I would probably be a solitary witch – so this is a way to create a tribe comfortably, and also amplifying the power and beauty of other Awakened mamas.

It’s my birthday in less than a week, and birthdays for myself have lost a bit of magic since having a kid. I am almost tempted to do a shop for him rather than for me, but I also love birthdays and don’t want to lose the magic for myself or my husband (who’s birthday is shortly after mine). I am so big on celebrating people, and it’s important that I also celebrate myself. One way I did so yesterday was through the selection of my birthday presents.

My parents live on the other side of the planet, so they often give me a budget and say, “Go crazy!” when it comes to selecting my birthday gifts. Last year, I got myself a new Kindle and case – and that was a fantastic present! It’s garnered a lot of use, since then! This year, I went practical and wants, not needs. I made a little promise to myself in December that for 2024, I would try not to buy myself or my son any new books (only used online or from the thrift shop) in order to save money, but my one exception was celebrations, like birthdays. So, I used this opportunity to select a few books for myself – books I’d probably not find used, and books I am so excited to add to my collection!

Now, the only problem is that there are not enough hours in the day to dedicate to reading books I already have – and am loving! Now that I’ve introduced writing into my naptime routine, that’s taken a bit of a priority (and for good reason). Normally, after this blog post, I prep R’s lunch then sit for a few moments to read what I can. Today, I have a bit of a to-do list to tackle: I want to make my first post for the Awakened Mamas Community, I want to do a toy rotation (this always takes a while), I have clothes to fold, I still haven’t even decided what lunch will be for the little. I suppose it’s a matter of scheduling this according to needs and what can wait until this evening (but then we start an entirely new complication of: what am I too tired to do and what will I make time for, tonight).

Many of the books I selected, including one book I found from the thrift store and was eyeing on Pinterest recently, all speak to this idea of prioritizing what matters most and what will give you the most happiness in the moment and long-term. I feel that this is, essentially, the basis of successful slow living. I don’t think it’s all about homesteading and being the most Laura Ingalls of them all; I think it comes down to prioritizing joy, to live a life that feels less rushed and incomplete. What do you think?

Last night I dreamt of my former best friend and we were acting like it was old times. I dream about her often and I hope she is well. I wish I could tell her that my son has curly hair like her; hair I always envied and dreamed of for myself. She might even give me suggestions for taming his wild locks. I believe all people have a time and a place in our lives for a reason, and that letting go of energies that no longer put you on a path to betterment is essential for personal growth. I don’t know that our friendship served either of us anymore, and I do have a feeling we are both living completely different lives, now. But above all, I hope she is happy in the choices she has made and the life she is living. Truly happy.

xx C