I wanted to love this book. Oh, how I wanted to simply adore it. It spoke to me from the synopsis to the title to the first few chapters. I saw myself in this book. And then something happened, and I just didn’t see me anymore.

Martin’s Introverted self is quite different from my own, but I still found myself highlighting many aspects of her book. When she spoke about introverted stressors and mentioned how to combat them, when she spoke directly to extroverted husbands, and when she described the sensitivities of introverts as a gift, I felt seen and heard.

But somewhere along the way, I no longer felt connected to the story. I am spiritual but I’m not religious; at one point, a lot of God and Jesus got thrown throughout the book. It had an entire chapter on being an introverted Christian; I did not expect this, there was no indication that it would have very heavy Christian undertones. While I respect the author and their religious path, this felt slightly isolating to me and would be isolating to other introverted moms hoping to find themselves in this book. I wish there was more in the synopsis that would have emphasized the religious overtones because it came out of no where, honestly. I ended up skipping the entire chapter because it didn’t feel like approachable, and I love reading Christian texts, normally.

In addition, Martin really seemed to hate being an introvert. She has a lot of negative opinions about it. She says, “We can lament this fact or view it as a gift.” I don’t think I’ve ever hated being an introvert. I don’t hate myself or how I am. I don’t think I’m weird, difficult, or hard to manage. I think the world has trouble understanding us especially after we lose our identity to serving another little human, but that doesn’t make us bad or wrong.

That being said, Martin did give many valuable tips for introverted moms who are overwhelmed, overstimulated, touched-out, or surrounded by extroverts. I absolutely appreciated those tidbits and reminders because sometimes I forget the importance of allowing myself to wind down before I care for anyone else. It really does transform me if I don’t take a moment to be still and have quiet.

I also really appreciated this quote: “It takes a while to figure out who you are as an introverted mother, who you are as a person now that the lifelong job of raising children has forever altered your identity.” (pg. 66)

One other thing about this book that bothered this introvert in particular was the chapter-end reflections by other moms. To me, they felt like waking up to a super long text message from someone you only half-know via the internet and having to invest in hearing their story and then reply to it. It gave me the same social anxiety as responding to a giant list of DMs on my private Instagram, or getting back to a friend who is spilling their life without asking you how you’re doing.

I didn’t love the book but I didn’t hate it, either. I felt heard and seen – until I didn’t anymore. But I definitely highlighted a few valuable gems in this text that I’ll go back to. Would I recommend it to other introverted moms? Maybe if you aren’t really sure how to navigate this overwhelming journey – but only if you’re okay with a lot of Christianity, otherwise you’ll feel very disconnected from it.

3 stars out of five.