Blessings Awakened Mamas,

In case you were unaware, I was an educator in Canada for 8/9 years. I’ve worked everywhere, from Kindergarten to Senior English, spending most of my years as a Special Education Teacher in a Gifted classroom, finally being promoted to Special Education Resource Teacher (Administrator) before permanently leaving my career and moving overseas. I am now a full-time stay-at-home mother, author, and part-time editor and freelance writer.

When I was an educator, motherhood wasn’t even a thought in my head. In fact, I said to myself that teachers play a far more important role in the development of children than parents, because we spend the most time with them (how delusional I was). There was so much about being a teacher – and having formal education in education – that I had to unlearn – or was forced to shift out of – when I became a mother.

Structure Loses Purpose

When you’re in a classroom, there’s consistent structure, routine, lesson plans, learning objectives, and planning that is required. Motherhood is a whole different ballgame.

While my son is someone who clearly appreciates and thrives with routine, structure is a different world altogether – at least the structure of my day, is.

My routine rotates around his life and routine. There is no solid structure in place because I go with the flow of his needs, wants, desires, and nap times. Lesson plans in play are non-existent because he makes his own rules. Objectives are often: make it to the end of the day with a tired and satisfied child who is fully-fed.

While I was a teacher who implemented a student-led dynamic in my classroom, I was still the head-honcho of the space. Being a mother forced me to let go of that control, oddly enough, and to let my son direct me. I was always a risk-taker but I learned a new embrace and appreciation of spontaneity.

Not Everything Needs To Be A Teachable Moment

Forget the noise you hear all over social media: not everything needs to be educational – sometimes it can just be fun and exciting.

In a classroom, I manufactured teachable moments where there were none. Every activity had, at the basis, a foundation of a learning objective. Even in kindergarten, I was tracking the learning that happened in the play.

Now, as a mom, I just let him play. A jungle-gym is not really “educational” at the root (like a museum might be), but it may be exactly what he needs to release his energy. Watching a show about talking cars might not be educational, but it’s bringing him joy in a moment of chaos.

What I was taught through this is that presence is far more importance than constantly directing my child towards a learning experience. And that he will often show his own developmental growth in surprising ways. Releasing expectation of “education” to the ebb and flow of play was essential.

“Professional Development” Is Nonsense

When I was an educator, I consistently participated in professional development. This is when new textbooks or tools are introduced, consultants share new ideas, terms, or new educational goals are proposed. Sometimes, “experts” are invited in to speak and share their knowledge about specific topics (eg. equity and equality, mathematics learning, etc.). The same consultants, experts, and “educational textbooks” exist in motherhood — and they’re a load of crap.

Not a single book I read prepared me for my leaking amniotic sac, my extremely painful induction, or my emergency c-section. No book prepared me for dealing with my personal experience of postpartum. No book warned me about all the people who would have an opinion on my mothering. No book warned me about my loss of identity and having to rediscover myself with my new title of “mother”. And all the “experts” in Facebook Mom Groups have a lot of noise and opinions to share that hold little to no weight to my individual mothering experience.

Despite believing reading, researching, and prepping myself beforehand would have me best prepared, I was wrong. This was nothing like learning a new teaching strategy: this was raw, unfiltered motherhood. I had to learn as I went along. I had to discover with each day with my son. No amount of “professional development” prepares you for this “new curriculum” called motherhood.

(You can read an Honest Reflection on my Birthing Experience here.)

Educational Is a State of Mind

In classrooms, you’re provided with a plethora of educational materials meant to encourage learning and intellectual growth in students. I was sure I’d enter motherhood with the same “pick the good stuff” mentality, only to discover that absolutely everything provides a moment of learning for a child. There was no need to invest in the expensive membership boxes or buy into the teachable concepts sold to me left, right, and center. If I just trusted my mom gut and went with what my kid found joy in, it usually leads to learning. And if it doesn’t, at least he’s having fun. There’s no need to follow the hive mind on what is and what is not educational, and teacher resources aren’t perfect.

Mama Knows Best (Parents Know Best)

I was absolutely delusional to believe that, as a teacher spending 8 hours a day with these kids, I was far more involved with their learning and knew them better than their own parents.

I didn’t have a clue.

While I took the time to know each child and understand them and their uniqueness, eventually – to avoid favouritism – they got lumped as “part of the class whole” because how else can a teacher manage to instruct and guide 20+ little people all at the same time? It’s obvious that within this sphere, specific needs or particularities will surely be missed. In addition, I knew these children on a surface level – no matter how deep the conversation got or how much time we spent with one another – while parents know their children on a soul level. The energy vibration is completely different.

Motherhood emphasized to me that I will have to be the primary educator in this child’s life, and will have to help them navigate this school space in a way that meets them on the soul level that we all need to be fully joyous and satisfied.

Alas, that’s what comes to mind in this moment — though I’m sure more will arise as this motherhood journey continues. I have no regrets with leaving teaching, in fact, it was the best decision of my life. But my very structured teacher brain definitely got a shake-up after the birth of my baby. Being an educator doesn’t make me a good – or even a better – mom. Being a present, authentic, loving mom is what makes me a good mom. Period.

xx Claudia of @AwakenedLittleSouls

Check out my Sacred Motherhood Spiritual Journal, while you’re here!